The Stories We Inhabit
By Damaris Gingerich, AIF®
“People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it’s the other way around.” — Terry Pratchett
As humans, we exist in stories. We tell ourselves tales about the world that allow events to fit into our consciousness. The practical person calls this a worldview or an ideology – a narrative that shapes our experience and guides our reaction to the world around us.
When I was young, my family adopted my two youngest siblings. As they became a part of our family, we told them the story of how wanted they were. A child adopted into another family could easily focus on the abandonment by their biological parents, and many often do. What was important for my parents to emphasize was that my siblings were prayed for, sought out and pursued from across the world by my family. As they grew up, they experienced life through the lens of being desired and chosen.
My husband and I often recount to each other the story of our love and life together. It’s a simple “I love you” before I leave for work in the morning, letters that fill me with joy on a special occasion or verbalizing that a completed chore was motivated by love. Reminding each other of these things has built a foundation of kindness and graciousness that impacts the way we perceive occasional moments of carelessness or lack of concern: as aberrations from the norm.
Outside of our relationships, stories help us make sense of the world through a worldview. Mine is based on the Bible’s narrative of creation, fall, redemption and eventual restoration. When the headlines are dominated by shootings, war and political infighting, the larger narrative of hope for eventual restoration is cause for courage. Different worldviews are based on different stories: of people oppressed by a hegemony, hard work as a guarantor of success and opportunity, or individuality as the ultimate freedom, or duty and responsibility to a family community. We can’t escape stories. Therefore, it’s important to recognize them.
“A story must be told or there’ll be no story, yet it is the untold stories that are most moving.” — J. R. R. Tolkien
Some of the unrecognized stories imbedded in our consciousness are detrimental and need to be corrected. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy seeks to do this in a formalized sense by learning to recognize one’s distortions in thinking that are creating problems, and then to reevaluate them in light of reality1. CBT also seeks to gain a better understanding of the behavior and motivation of others, using problem-solving skills to cope with difficult situations and learning to develop a greater sense of confidence in one’s own abilities.
“The human species thinks in metaphors and learns through stories.” –Mary Catherine Bateson
Like everything else in life, we have our own narratives around money and investing. Growing up in poverty has long-term consequences when it comes to completing postsecondary education, fully developing adult brain function, and increasing risk for serious health issues.2 On the other hand, a child with a wealthy upbringing is more prone to abuse substances, to suffer from low self-esteem and chronic depression. When these risks go unaddressed early on, an illusion of security disincentivizes those individuals from learning wise financial practices early on in life.3 This continues into adulthood. We know that most humans feel the pain of losses twice as much as the joy of gains. We need to recognize the outsize influence that a bad market season can have on our emotional health.
One of our recent blog posts described the story of Ernest Shackleton’s Antarctic expedition, a metaphor for perseverance through a difficult market season. Imagining this life as a battle, a race to be run, a mountain to be climbed; these ideas can all foster an attitude of determination and grit. In the same way, the larger story we tell ourselves about investing and our approach to money will invariably produce an emotional outcome. Someone who believes that markets are inherently not worth the risk, that investing will do more harm than good, that losses can’t be recovered, will see the events of the last few months and panic. A prudent and careful investor will see opportunity, rely on a predetermined plan, and continue the same path. What story are you telling yourself?
We don’t know what’s ahead, but we know how we will respond. We’re here to talk about concerns, answer questions and to work to develop a greater sense of confidence for the future.